In the Beginning...

In the beginning we had one little boy.  Brennan, we named him.  Cute little bugger.  Brennan was a fairly typical kid--that is if you consider WONDERFUL, charming, smart, adorable, and creating word puzzles out of the word supercalifragilisticexpialidocious at age 5 "typical."

Many of you already know Brennan's story.  But here's a refresher:

Brennan, established in 1997, was a kid who many called The Golden Boy because he seemed to be able to do no wrong.  He was the perfect big brother.  He did great in school.  He could yo-yo like no body's business.  And then on October 14, 2006, while visiting Tucson, Brennan had a seizure.  He was at my cousin's house while I was at my 20th High School Reunion.  My cousin Ann was watching Brennan, his two sisters, and had a baby who was only a few months old at the time.  Ann handled everything so wonderfully.  She went with Brennan in the ambulance and we met them at the hospital. 

Brennan stayed in Tucson (University Medical Center) and continued having seizures.  After about 3 days he was taken by helicopter to Phoenix Children's Hospital.  Alan rode with him on that trip.  Alan told me that the neurosurgeon met him and was confident from the beginning that he could help Brennan.  Between several CT Scans, MRIs, and Lumbar Punctures, it was determined that a tumor in his right temporal lobe was causing all the hullabaloo.  On October 23, 2006 Brennan had brain surgery to remove what we later found out was a protoplasmic astrocytoma--benign, if you were wondering.  

After the tumor was removed Brennan continued having seizures.  They were scary because he would occasionally stop breathing.  Brennan was admitted to Phoenix Children's Hospitals Pediatric Epilepsy Monitoring Unit--which had just opened up the week after Brennan had surgery (we refer to ourselves as the luckiest unlucky people).  At the PEMU, Brennan's medications were adjusted and we were finally sent home with a child who had his seizures pretty much controlled.  Of course some of the medication tasted bad, so he didn't have his gag reflex under control and he threw up a lot for awhile.  

Brennan came home from the hospital on three different medications.  A liquid we mixed with grape Kool-aid, a chewable that was mint, and these capsules we had to open up and sprinkle into pudding (and he had to take something like 20 of those a day).  Brennan is now down to one medication and he can swallow pills, so he can take the extended release and only has to take 7 of them a day.  He still doesn't like mint, but started eating pudding again, and will occasionally drink grape Kool-aid.  

Since 2007 Brennan has only had about 3 seizures.  He goes between 6-18 months between them.  There is no rhyme or reason to them, no "aura" to warn us before they happen.  They happen when he's awake or asleep, or when his parents are watching Borat (we were afraid anti-semitic humor could be a trigger), or when he was wearing shiny silver shirts left over from dance recitals.  No one really knows (real life ain't like TV doctor shows!).  

Last year Brennan went to a camp for kids with epilepsy:  Camp Candlelight.  He had a blast.  First time away from home in a few years.  First time meeting other kids with epilepsy.  First time seeing a seizure.  Not the first time being quizzed by his mother.  I asked him if it was scary to see a seizure.  He said no, and I had to believe him.  Even if he was scared the first time, by the end of the week any fear of seizures he may have had were non-existent.  He talked about the seizures like they were just so ordinary.  It took Brennan's explanations of seizures at camp for me to create my new game plan:  if Brennan were to have another seizure I would remain calm and not call 911 unless I really needed to.  

Brennan had a seizure about a month after Camp Candlelight.  We were in Tucson...staying the night at my cousin Ann's house.  The seizure caused Brennan to fall out of bed.  In my sleepy state it took a few seconds for it to register in my mind what was going on.  I stayed calm.  I rubbed his back.  I did remind him to breath--more out of habit than any breathing problems.  Brennan's whole body moves during a seizure, but this time it was smaller movements.  He seemed to wake up fairly quickly and become coherent faster than previous seizures.  He got up off the floor and told me he was pissed off.  He was angry that his body or his medications or whatever had let him down.  I just let Brennan go back to sleep.  I watched him sleep.  I made a game plan for if he did have another one in the night.  I held his hand the rest of the night in case I did fall asleep, but I didn't.  

The next morning Brennan woke up and asked, "It wasn't a dream, was it?"  He had a look of disappointment.  Any pessimism was gone quickly.  Brennan said, "Maybe I was supposed to have my last seizure at the place where I had my first seizure."  

That is my prayer every day.  That Brennan has had his last seizure.