Define Recovery

I looked it up and recovery means returning to normal.  So, I will not ask for Brennan to recover if his normal is what it was before surgery.  I want him to be better than he was before.  I want recovery to his pre-2006 self.  I am always afraid that I have to be very specific when I make a wish or say a prayer.  I want him cured.  I want him to live a happy and healthy life without seizures.

We were told that he could have seizures after surgery and that it didn't mean that the surgery wasn't successful.  Think about it...his brain has been poked and prodded.  And it already liked having seizures.  So just because the areas causing his seizures could all be gone, other areas might be irritated. That's one reason why continuing meds is important.

It is one thing to know this and another thing to have seizures happen after surgery that is supposed to stop them.  We were warned, but it doesn't make it any easier.  We even know of stories of people who (in the doctor's words) had a flurry of seizures for the first month and went on to be seizure free.  I didn't want a flurry.  I wanted Brennan to just be done with seizures.

The day after surgery was good.  I was worried about the night, and that went fine too.  Today didn't go so well.  One seizure in the middle of the day.  A full blown tonic clonic (aka grand mal).  Brennan has a tendency to have his oxygen levels go down just after the seizure ends.  His oxygen level fell all the way to 2.  That's the lowest I've ever seen it.  The nurses called a code blue, which brought a room full of doctors and nurses, but Brennan's oxygen levels started to go up and nothing like intubation needed to be done.  He had one more seizure this evening and again his oxygen levels went down, but not quite as low (in the 20s is still scary).

We will not let this get us down.  It's not the easy recovery we were hoping for, but that doesn't mean it can't be better.  We'll just wait.  And we'll be very specific with what we want the end results to be.  Brennan, get better.  Heal fully.  Feel yourself surrounded with all the love and rest a bit so that your brain becomes better than it's normal.